Imagine helping complete a family – that is what a gestational surrogate does.
Unlike traditional surrogacy, a gestational surrogate has no genetic ties to the baby she carries.
This incredible journey helps individuals and couples, including those with medical conditions, infertility issues, or same-sex couples, to grow their families.
Ready to dive into some tips to help you prepare for a smooth, well-informed surrogacy experience? Let us get started!
Tips to Prepare for Surrogacy
Here at The Fertility Agency, with most of our staff consisting of former surrogates and intended parents, we understand how big of a commitment and decision it is to become a surrogate.
We think that it is essential for you fully understand the entire surrogacy process and know what to expect in terms of compensation, travel, medication, and all the other aspects of the journey.
Prior to making this commitment, we additionally recommend making sure you are both physically and mentally prepared. For the safety and health of the surrogate and child, we do require a healthy pregnancy history.
It takes an incredibly special person to be able to carry a baby for someone else, and it does make it easier that we only work with gestational surrogates, so your eggs are not used. However, we understand and acknowledge that not everyone is mentally fit to handle this process.
If you are serious about becoming a surrogate mother, we recommend following this list of tips for surrogates, which includes tips for before you apply, tips for how to be a successful surrogate, and surrogate journey tips.
Do Your Research
Before doing anything else, it is necessary to make sure you understand everything surrogacy entails.
This means taking the time to research gestational surrogacy and to get to know the entire process. Look into topics such as surrogacy laws in your state, legal processes involved in surrogacy, medicines, medical procedures, compensation, travel, requirements, and all the little aspects that make up the surrogacy journey.
In terms of resources we recommend, read blogs, books, and testimonials, listen to podcasts, and check out social media accounts. There is an abundance of free resources available relating to surrogacy information. However, there is also a large amount of misinformation present, so be aware of this while conducting your research.
Make sure you fully comprehend the amazing journey you are about to embark on before you commit to an agency.
Find a Surrogacy Agency You Like
While not every woman decides to go with a surrogacy agency for their journey, there are many benefits to doing so.
Our staff will be there with you throughout the journey. They will make sure you are a good fit for surrogacy, match you with intended parents with similar values, help with your contract, make sure you receive compensation at the correct times, help you book travel, and overall, support and guide you throughout the entire experience.
Like the abundance of resources available, there are also an abundance of agencies to choose from. We recommend again conducting in-depth research to find out which agency is best for you.
Some factors our clients usually look for include transparency, experience, and reputation. You want to choose an agency with a good reputation in terms of caring about the health of their surrogates and surrogate babies, as well as one with satisfactory results, statistics, and reviews.
Reading testimonies can show a lot about firsthand experiences with various agencies.
It is also important to pick an agency that will provide you with the support you desire both during and after your experience.
Many agencies, like ours, consist of former surrogates and intended parents. This may also be something that matters to you, as it allows our coordinators to better relate to your experience.
Compensation and benefits differ between all agencies, so this is important to investigate, to find what is best for you.
If you do not feel like our agency would be a fit, so many other amazing ones exist, also doing the incredible work of helping to complete families!
Find Intended Parents That Share Your Values
For the smoothest possible surrogacy journey, it is important to match with intended parents that not only hold similar values to your own, but also have similar goals for how they envision the surrogacy journey. This consists of plans for how frequently you communicate with them, your birth plan, how often they will see you throughout (and even possibly after) the journey, and plans for potential issues.
This is where agencies like ours are super helpful!
Our TrueMatch program was created to help find the perfect intended parents for you, and the perfect surrogate for them. We attempt to prioritize everyone’s needs and desires, to make the best potential matches.
Relationships between surrogates and intended parents differ widely based on the wants of everyone involved. Many surrogates maintain longstanding relationships with the intended parents they help, long after the journey is complete. Some even decide to complete sibling journeys for the same families. Many experienced surrogates express much variation between the relationships they have with the intended parents they helped, based on the intensions and requests they set at the beginning.
We care deeply about your desires and values, so we will make sure to match you with intended parents who share those same desires and values.
Have a Support System
Although we will help provide you with whatever support you need throughout the process, it is important to have a stable support system in place prior to becoming a surrogate.
While many people see this and think it means we require you to be married, it does not. You just need individuals who can help support you emotionally and physically throughout the process. Whether that be a family member, friend, or partner, we do not have preferences.
Make sure those you surround yourself with will be supportive of your choice and helpful during this time, for the safety of both you and the baby. We will conduct background checks on you as well as those close to you, such as who you live with, to ensure this safety.
Therapists and other counselors not only can be an immense help during this time but can also be provided for you if needed.
Surrogacy can be extremely hard mentally, emotionally, and physically as you are carrying a baby for others. However, maintaining good health in all ways is incredibly important for pregnancy.
Stay on Top of OBGYN Appointments
For this process to work as best as possible, consistent medical care and monitoring are essential.
At the very beginning of the process, you will need to reach out to your OB(s) and get:
- Your previous pregnancy and delivery records
- A pap smear if you have not had one in over a year
- A medical clearance note from your OB saying you are allowed to move forward with a surrogacy pregnancy
Once you are matched with intended parents, you will need to travel to their selected clinic for a medical evaluation. This entire process will be funded by the intended parents and arranged by your case manager.
After you receive clearance and contracts are completed, you will begin taking medicine to prepare your body for the transfer. During this time, you will need to have a few monitoring appointments as well as an ultrasound at a clinic close to where you live.
The clinic will make sure everything is going smoothly and help guide you with the medicine process.
The next time you will have to travel again to the IPs clinic is for the embryo transfer: a process most surrogates describe as super easy and Pap smear like! Again, all costs are covered by the intended parents including childcare and lost wages.
About a week to 10 days later, you will go to the clinic near your house again for a beta test. This is a blood test that will show you if you are pregnant!
After this, you will have to do some more blood tests at the same clinic and return a couple of weeks later for an ultrasound. All these steps are particularly important to ensure that the baby is developing properly.
Until about 10 weeks into the pregnancy, you will continue to do medications and be overseen by the RE. When your own body starts taking over and produces the hormones without medication, you will be released to your very own OB, and from this point forward it will be like your typical pregnancies…except there are intended parents and an agency to support you.
Throughout this process, it is important to ask any questions you have, reach out for whatever support you need, and stay informed on what steps you should be taking to prioritize your health.
Eat Healthy & Stay Hydrated
Speaking of health, staying healthy and getting proper nutrition is extraordinarily important for surrogate pregnancies.
You must focus on hydration throughout the journey, as dehydration can cause many issues such as preterm labor.
Similarly, maintaining a healthy diet and getting all the nutrients essential for pregnancy is something you should concentrate on heavily.
Eating a balanced diet during pregnancy is crucial for both your health and your baby’s development. Here are some of the best foods to include in your pregnancy diet:
- Dairy Products: Milk, cheese, and yogurt are excellent sources of calcium, protein, and probiotics
- Legumes: Lentils, beans, peas, and chickpeas provide protein, fiber, iron, and folate
- Sweet Potatoes: Rich in beta-carotene, which your body converts to vitamin A, essential for fetal development
- Salmon: A great source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are important for brain development
- Eggs: Packed with protein and choline, which is vital for brain development
- Leafy Greens: Spinach, kale, and broccoli are high in vitamins A, C, and K, as well as folate
- Berries: Blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber
- Whole Grains: Brown rice, oats, and whole wheat bread provide fiber, B vitamins, and magnesium
- Avocados: High in healthy fats, folate, and potassium
- Nuts and Seeds: Walnuts, almonds, and chia seeds offer healthy fats, protein, and fiber
Spend some time doing your own research on the best foods for pregnancy, there are many great resources and recipes available online.
Exercise Regularly
Along with staying hydrated and eating healthy, exercise and physical activity help ensure good health for both you and the baby.
This does not mean intense activities, but rather actions like walking, yoga, light strength training, etc. Many of our past surrogates have found prenatal yoga to be immensely helpful for the birthing process.
Numerous health benefits are associated with exercising during pregnancy such as easier deliveries, improved stamina and heart health, reduced complications, less pelvic pain, increased energy levels, and much more.
However, it is crucial to consult with your doctor prior to adding any new exercises into your routine.
Make the journey as easy as possible for yourself by properly preparing your body.
Document Your Journey
Throughout the entire journey, we recommend documenting whatever aspects of it you feel comfortable with. This could mean journaling, taking photos and videos, posting on social media, etc.
This can be helpful in providing an emotional release for you throughout the process, as we know carrying a baby for others is not the easiest for everyone.
These can also help preserve memories of your journey, for both you and the intended parents. As mentioned, communication between you and the intended parents depends on the desires of everyone involved. However, most intended parents love to receive any updates!
Furthermore, documenting your journey can be useful to those considering surrogacy: either from the standpoint of seeking a surrogate or becoming a surrogate. Sharing stories, photos, and videos on your own social media accounts, or allowing us to share them on our accounts and websites, can help make a major difference in someone’s life. Through this, your surrogacy journey could help an abundance of families.
Often, surrogates form bonds with the intended parents they work with that continue well past the births.
While everyone may have a plan for communication after the baby is born, it often depends on how the communication during the journey went. In most cases, people stay in touch via Facebook, WhatsApp or FaceTime and sometimes get together as the baby grows — even with great distances.
You will have changed lives for both the parents and the baby and that is a gift that is immeasurable!
Become a Surrogate with the Fertility Agency
If you think surrogacy may be right for you, not only is it necessary to have a full understanding of what that process entails, but we recommend following the aforementioned tips to ensure the smoothest possible journey.
Preparing for surrogacy involves thorough research, selecting a supportive and trusted agency, and finding intended parents who align with your values.
During the whole experience, it is crucial to maintain a strong support system, stay on top of medical appointments, and prioritize your health through proper nutrition, hydration, and regular exercise.
Documenting your journey can also provide valuable insights and memories, as well as can help encourage others to follow in your footsteps.
Here at The Fertility Agency, we have been around since 2004, have helped bring over 1100+ babies into the world. Our staff consists of former surrogates and intended parents who will support and guide you through every step of the process.
If you are interested in working with our agency, you can apply on our website and you can set up a call to speak with one of our coordinators. You can even set up a call prior to completing the application! If you want to learn more information about surrogacy compensation or requirements, the information is all available on our website.
We would love to be able to help you help another family!
