Embarking on the journey of surrogacy is a profound and life-changing decision.
As a surrogate, you are committing to a process that requires thorough preparation, unwavering dedication, and a deep understanding of what lies ahead.
Gestational surrogacy involves carrying for intended parents using an embryo created through in vitro fertilization (IVF). The surrogate has no genetic link to the child, as the embryo is created using the egg and sperm of the intended parents or donors. This distinction is crucial, as it underscores the surrogate’s role in nurturing and bringing the baby to term, rather than contributing genetically.
Becoming a surrogate is a significant commitment that extends beyond the physical aspects of pregnancy. It involves emotional resilience, legal considerations, and a willingness to navigate complex medical procedures.
Ensuring you are well-prepared and knowledgeable about every facet of the surrogacy process is essential for a successful and fulfilling experience.
9 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Surrogate
Before diving into the surrogacy process, we recommend engaging in thorough self-reflection to ensure you would actually be a good fit for surrogacy as well as be fully prepared for what the journey ahead entails.
This involves evaluating your motivations, understanding the emotional and physical demands, and considering the impact on your personal life and relationships.
To help you navigate this introspective phase, we’ve compiled a list of nine essential questions to ask yourself before becoming a surrogate. These questions will guide you in assessing your readiness and commitment, ensuring that you embark on this remarkable journey with clarity and confidence.
1. Why Do I Want To Become a Surrogate?
Understanding your motivations for becoming a surrogate is a vital step in determining if this path is right for you.
People typically become surrogates out of a desire to help others, often driven by a sense of compassion and the joy of giving the gift of parenthood to those who cannot conceive on their own.
Surrogacy helps a diverse range of individuals and couples, including those facing infertility, same-sex couples, and single parents who dream of having a child.
By exploring your motivations and goals, you can assess whether surrogacy aligns with your values and life circumstances. Reflecting on questions such as why you want to become a surrogate, what you hope to achieve, and how this decision fits into your life can provide clarity and ensure you are making an informed and heartfelt choice.
2. Am I Prepared for the Physical Demands of Surrogacy?
A step we will help play a role in, if you work with an agency like ours, is assessing your readiness for the physical demands of surrogacy.
Pregnancy can be challenging on your body. Before embarking on this journey, you need to be medically cleared to ensure you are in good health and capable of carrying a pregnancy to term. This helps ensure the success of the journey as well as prioritizes the health and safety of our surrogates.
The surrogacy process involves significant physical demands, from the changes your body will undergo to the numerous medical appointments and procedures required. These can include fertility treatments, medications, regular check-ups, and monitoring throughout the pregnancy.
Different agencies have different surrogacy requirements, but all U.S. based agencies must adhere to ASRM regulations, followed by fertility clinics.
3. Do I Have a Strong Support System?
Having a strong and stable support system is not only key when considering surrogacy, but is something we, and most other agencies, require.
You will need a network of friends, family, counselors, and other supportive individuals to help you navigate the emotional and physical demands of the journey. A great surrogate support system can provide emotional support, assist with appointments, and help you manage stressful situations. They can offer encouragement, lend a listening ear, and be there for you during challenging times.
Ensuring you have a reliable support system in place will make the surrogacy experience more manageable and fulfilling, allowing you to focus on the incredible gift you are giving to the intended parents.
4. Am I Financially Stable?
To the surprise of many, assessing your financial stability is another factor in becoming a surrogate. Although surrogates are typically compensated for their time and effort, it is important to be financially stable before embarking on this journey.
Financial stability ensures that you can comfortably manage your own expenses and responsibilities without relying solely on the compensation from surrogacy. This stability allows you to focus on the well-being of yourself and the baby you are carrying, without the added stress of financial concerns.
For this reason, we do not accept individuals who are not financially stable. On a similar note, individuals receiving government assistance are not eligible to become surrogates through most agencies, including our own.
Surrogacy compensation can affect eligibility for government assistance programs, such as Medicaid, food support, or housing assistance, due to strict income reporting regulations. This could lead to a loss of benefits, creating financial instability for the surrogate.
The acceptance of government aid by surrogates can also lead to parentage issues for intended parents. If a surrogate fails to disclose this additional income, it could be considered fraud, leading to legal consequences that might impact the surrogacy agreement and the intended parents’ legal rights.
Ensuring financial stability and transparency protects the interests of all parties involved in the surrogacy process.
5. Am I Comfortable With the Medical Aspects of Surrogacy?
Being a medical process, you have to be comfortable with the medical aspects of surrogacy.
Throughout the surrogacy journey, you will undergo fertility treatments, hormone injections, and regular medical check-ups to ensure a healthy pregnancy. It’s important to be aware of the risks and complexities associated with surrogacy and pregnancy, including potential side effects and complications.
Most agencies require surrogates to have regular vaccines, and to update their vaccines if needed. However, Covid vaccine requires vary between agencies.
By being well-informed and ready for the medical aspects, you can navigate if surrogacy is the right choice for you.
6. How Would Surrogacy Affect My Family?
If you choose to be a surrogate, you’ll need to consider potential shifts in family dynamics during the pregnancy.
This could include changes in daily routines, increased need for support, and the emotional impact on your loved ones.
Preparing your family for the commitment of surrogacy is a must, as they will need to understand and support you through the numerous appointments, medical procedures, and the physical and emotional demands of the journey.
Open communication and planning can help ensure that your family is ready to embrace this unique and rewarding experience together.
7. How Do I Feel About Working With Intended Parents?
Consider how you feel about working with potential intended parents (IPs).
You’ll need to set your preferences for the type of intended parents you want to help, whether they are single, LGBTQ+, a heterosexual couple, or from other backgrounds. Additionally, think about your preferred communication styles and how you envision interacting with the IPs.
Building a strong relationship and navigating communication and expectations with them is a big part of the journey, as you will be working very closely throughout the process.
Compatibility is key to ensuring a positive and supportive experience for both you and the intended parents, fostering a collaborative and harmonious journey.
8. Am I Emotionally Prepared for the Surrogacy Process?
The journey requires significant mental strength and resilience.
It takes a special person to carry a baby for someone else, and while the lack of a genetic connection can help, there are still numerous emotional challenges to navigate.
These can include dealing with failed embryo transfers, managing the relationship with the intended parents, and coping with the general ups and downs of pregnancy.
Being emotionally prepared means understanding these potential challenges and being ready to face them. Seeking counseling or support can be beneficial in preparing yourself emotionally, ensuring you have the tools and resources needed to handle the emotional aspects of surrogacy.
9. How Will Surrogacy Fit Into My Current Lifestyle & Commitments?
Balancing work, family, and daily life while being a surrogate can be challenging, so you should consider how you will integrate the surrogacy process into your routine, including numerous appointments, medical procedures, and the birth.
You may need to travel a few times for specific procedures, all of which will be covered by the intended parents. The intended parents will even cover lost wages, childcare expenses, and your partner’s travel expenses.
By thoughtfully planning and preparing, you can ensure that surrogacy fits smoothly into your life, allowing you to fulfill this incredible responsibility while maintaining balance in your personal and professional life.
Become a Surrogate With The Fertility Agency
Asking yourself these questions before deciding to become a surrogate helps you understand your motivations, assess your readiness for the physical and emotional demands, and evaluate how surrogacy will fit into your lifestyle.
If you have thoughtfully considered these questions and are still interested in becoming a surrogate, we encourage you to explore surrogacy with The Fertility Agency.
Our comprehensive and supportive surrogacy program, backed by a dedicated team of surrogates, is designed to guide you through every step of the process.
Join us and become a surrogate, make a profound difference in the lives of intended parents.
