Embarking on a gestational surrogacy journey is an incredible act of love and compassion. As a surrogate’s partner, you play a crucial role in providing support, involvement, and understanding throughout the process. From the early stages of preparation to the joyous moment of welcoming a new life into the world, your love and encouragement can make all the difference.
Gestational surrogacy can be an emotional and physically-demanding process for your partner. You also have to help her navigate any hurdles and challenges that come her way. It’s important to find the right balance between involvement and taking a step back to give space.
As your partner’s support person, here are the best ways you can contribute to her gestational surrogacy journey:
Educate Yourself
If you’re reading this, we’re already impressed that you’re proactively researching ways to support and empower your partner. Take the time to educate yourself about the gestational surrogacy process, the medical procedures involved, and the emotional challenges that may arise. You don’t know what you don’t know, and understanding the journey will help you to be more empathetic and supportive.
Discuss Boundaries
At the beginning and throughout the process, have open conversations with your partner about her preferences for involvement. Keep an open mind. Some surrogates may appreciate a hands-on approach, while others might prefer more personal space.
Embrace Communication
Encourage open and honest communication with your partner about her feelings, fears, and hopes. Let her know she can talk to you whenever she needs to. Even if you can’t offer solutions to challenges, listening attentively and validating her emotions can make her feel understood and supported.
Attend Appointments
Doctor’s appointments, procedures, and testing are intimidating and anxiety-inducing for some people. Go with your partner to medical appointments and prenatal check-ups whenever possible. Your presence during these major moments and milestones is reassuring and can strengthen your bond as a couple. You are helping to watch over a growing baby — and the intended parents are counting on their surrogate’s support network to help make their dream come true.
Emotional Support
Offer a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear during challenging times. Reassure your partner that you are there for her and that you appreciate the selfless act she is doing. Compliment her. Remind her of her selflessness every so often to encourage her and lift her spirits.
Celebrate Milestones
Getting pregnant, having a healthy pregnancy, and giving birth are all major achievements. Commemorate every milestone of the pregnancy together, from the first ultrasound to feeling the baby’s first kick. Even though it’s someone else’s baby, these small moments can be immensely meaningful for both of you.
Help with Tasks
Research shows that pregnancy is as metabolically taxing as running a marathon. Throughout the pregnancy, offer to help with some of your partner’s household chores or responsibilities to alleviate some of her physical and mental burdens. Give her more opportunities for mental and physical rest.
Encourage Self-Care
Remind your partner to prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed. Encourage her to do activities that bring her joy and relaxation, like reading, baking, playing a musical instrument, exercising, or whatever she likes to do.
Be Respectful
Always be mindful of your partner’s emotional and physical boundaries. Remember that while you are a vital part of the process, the pregnancy is ultimately her journey.
Have Patience
Understand that emotions can run high during this process. Try your best to have patience and understanding, even if your partner has moments of stress or uncertainty. Remember that this is more than you helping her — you are an active participant in this journey.
Support Agency Involvement
Respect the role of the surrogacy agency and professionals involved. The agency’s role during the surrogacy is to give you both all the support you need. Their expertise and guidance are valuable resources for both of you.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
If your partner is experiencing significant emotional distress, encourage her to seek professional counseling. This level of support can be immensely beneficial during challenging times.
As a partner to a gestational surrogate, you have a unique opportunity to provide unwavering support, involvement, and understanding. She needs you. Your love and encouragement have a major impact on your partner’s journey, creating a positive and fulfilling experience for both of you. It can also have a long-term impact on your relationship. Stand by her side as a pillar of strength throughout this extraordinary and transformative process.
For more information and inspiration, explore our partner’s guide to surrogacy.
Egg Donor and Surrogacy Services
Since 2004, The Fertility Agency has helped bring over 1100+ babies into the world. We work with all intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors no matter their sexual preference, relationship status, ethnicity, location, etc. Our personal experiences and years of expertise provide us with the perfect balance of business and passion.
